The Joy of PB&J

For almost two weeks I have survived on a diet consisting of mainly peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. It is cheap and fairly good for you. I have saved on average around 50 dollars a week by packing these sandwiches to school and work. I discovered that I would not die from only eating two sandwiches a day. Better yet I have also managed to lose some weight. A good pb&j can keep you going for at least 12 hours with limited stomach pain. My diet used to consist of at least one sometimes two fast food meals. I never realized how much money this was costing me. Then it hit me if I was not spending so much money on food I would be able to buy things I actually want. I could one day buy a car. The snow is not so great for my scooter. If I live on pb&j sandwiches for the next three years I will be able to afford a car. There are a few things that I do to ensure that the sandwiches are up to par. First I always us raspberry jelly on my sandwiches because it is the most delectable. Also keeping the sandwich in a Tupperware and not a plastic baggy will ensure that there is no smashing during the day. Last I eat is slowly so it will fill me up more. I would suggest to all of you to find out how much money you are spending on food and stop.

Have you ever told someone something and you didn't want the information spread. Well some people just do not know how to keep a secret. The rule of thumb should be to never tell other people anything that does not pertain to you individual. This is a pretty intense rule that probably no one can ever actually obey. Today a secret I revealed in confidence was shared with another. I was angry and confused. I wanted to scream at this person and get them in trouble. Then I realized that I have told things that someone else would rather not be shared. It is part of humans to want to talk about other people. They want to know how others are doing, what they like, who they are dating and who cheated on whom. There is an innate desire to talk about other people because it takes the focus from their own flaws. It is easy for someone to become upset by other people telling secrets. When was the last time that person spread gossip? This is a question everyone should ask themselves before they judge others. Life is simple. Before you get angry others for something realize that they are just humans too.

Femy guys

I have a track record of dating guys that are more feminine than some of my girl friends. It all started with a boyfriend who decided he wanted to be a girlfriend. Matt broke my heart and I am still trying to pick up the pieces. Then there was a boy who liked baking more than he liked to be with me. The trail of failures has not ceased to amaze me. Recently I have been trying to discover why I subconsciously try to sabotage love in my life. Today my friend said that it is my way of staying out of a serious relationship. This begs the question why don't I want a serious relationship? That is when it hit me, subconsciously I fear relationships because I think that I will not be able to accomplish my goals. So the solution to my problem is to date only hot, single, and manly men that are not searching for anything serious. Does this make me sound like a player? Possible, but is there something wrong with playing the Field when you are nineteen and in college. Now I just have to learn how to play the field. This may sound easy to the average person; to me this sounds like walking of a cliff. I like to feel secure I like to think that there will be someone there to catch me. So why if I like commitment, am I so afraid of serious relationships. The real answer I have no idea. There are few times in my life that I have simply had no reasonable explanation for something in my life and it is a terrifying situation. Now on to a new topic. Balancing school, church, and life, is often a very challenging situation. With eighteen credits, working at least 25 hours a week and juggling other responsibilities there is not any time left for a social life. But sometimes you have to choose between good, better, or what is best. Until this semester I thought that the most important part of my life was school but now I am coming to realize that there is so much more to life than getting 120% in a class. I have learned that you can do well in school and in life at the same time. I think that this is what life is really about is learning who I am and what I can become.

Want kids, think again!

I have come to the conclusion that the answer to wanting children is to spend a few hours with someone else's kids. My friend has been staying with her mother over the last few weeks along with her two children ages 3 and 1. Now these kids are absolutely adorable but it has made me realize how hard kids are when you have them around twenty four hours a day seven days a week. I think it is hard to fit everything in my schedule into one day just imagine factoring in baths, diaper changes, naps, snacks, meals and buckling car seats any time you need to go anywhere. Those things alone add at least five hours to a day when you cant do other things. Now I am not saying that I don't like children. I love kids, playing ball with my nephew and Barbies with my niece are some of my favorite pastimes. I just don't want any children of my own quite yet. On Sunday my nephew was staying with me and he had an accident on my king size love sac. To clean up this one mess involved giving him a bath, acquiring clean church cloths, washing the dirty clothes, removing the love sac cover and washing that. This whole process took at least an hour and that does not count the day that it took for the love sac to air dry. But the hardest thing was not letting my nephew know that this upset me. It was not his fault he had an accident and letting him know how upset I was would just make matters worse than they already were. Now I add my favorite place to study children at the mall. I work in a woman's clothing store and see children with their mothers all day long. Most kids are good for the first few minutes but any longer than that in one store they are crying, throwing things on the floor or dumping out the contents of their drinks. Now the moms usually have three responses to these actions. The first is ignoring their child and hope they will quite, this just perpetuates the situation. The next would be to yell at the child and make just as much a disruption as their child. The last response is few and far between, this is when the parent actually makes an effort to find out the problem their child is experiencing and solve it. Everyday I am reminded that i am just not ready for the responsibility of children, cute as they may be.

The saga of winter semester

I have found that winter semester is the most difficult to attend. It is cold and often snowy and all I want to do is stay in my house and stay warm. Then there is the added stress of paying for school. I just spent tons of money on Christmas and now I have to pay hundreds of dollars to sit in class when I would much rather be curled up in front of my fireplace reading a good book. There is nothing wrong with school, it is great to learn new things and better who I am but who wants to get up and go to school when it is pitch black outside. Then there is work, I have to work nearly thirty hours a week just to support myself through school and there is never any money left to spend on entertainment. Why is it that we go through all this schooling when much of it is unnecessary. The classes required for my major are great and I am learning the required skills for my future but the general ed classes are seriously a joke. The worst grade that I have acquired in all my college years was in a general ed class that I will most likely never use. Another frustrating issue is exercise as I am very poor I cannot afford a gym pass and run outdoors to stay in shape. This semester I have been seriously slacking in this endeavor. I get up but it is so cold outside that I freeze just thinking about running. When I do get out and run as fate would have it I slip and fall on the ice preventing running for at least a week. To make matters worse I am sick of my wardrobe but all the winter cloths are now either too small or to large because they have been on clearance since after Christmas but it is too cold to buy and wear any of the new spring lines that are now available. In Utah winter can continue until April or even sometimes May, I will have to wear the same boring winter clothes until the end of the semester. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel call graduation. One day (at the end of April) I will finish this long, cold, eighteen credit semester and graduate to move on to new and exciting paths. I will have learned the skills that will help me in my career, well some of them. It will be a glorious day and hopefully a warm day.